teacher and students

Teachers and Students (1)

Debriefing Master and Disciples

In an elementary school, one day a teacher asked one of his students.

Teacher: "Udin please answer questions yaa mother ... If there are 5 birds at the window, then shot one, how much is still left behind?"

Udin: "Out dong Bu, the other on the fly"

Teacher: "One, should be answered still stay 4 tails, but I am happy with the way you think ... .."

Udin at other times they asked the teacher.

Udin: "Teacher please answer my question ... If there were three girls, each carrying the ice cream, the first girl eating ice cream with chewed sedikit2, the second one with a bite of ice cream and contongnya, and the third by licking and sucking, Which among the three girls who are married? "

Teacher: "Hmmm ... definitely the feeding by licking and sucking ice cream yaaaa"

Udin: "One ... should be answered wearing a wedding ring, but I am happy to see the way of thinking Teacher ..."

Teachers and Pupils (2)

State symbol

A primary school pupil has the critical nature of his teacher asked,

Pupil: "Sir, why the eagle emblem of our country?"

Teacher: "Because according to our Independence Day, 17 August 1945, 17 is the number of feathers on the wing, 08 (August) is the number of feathers in the tail, and 45 is the number of hairs that were in the neck."

Pupil: "Then why our country's independence on August 17 instead of the date the other, dated January 2, for example?"

Teacher: "Well, when we gained independence on 02 of January, meaning the symbol of our country is no longer an eagle, but the dragonfly, with two wings and a tail."

Pupil : "...?"

Teachers and Students (3)

Smart pupil

Tole incoming grade 1, the first day he had protested at the teacher.

"Mom, I'm supposed to sit in class 3"

Her teacher Mrs. wonder "Why are you sure?"

Tole answer a resounding "Because I am smarter than my brother, who is now a class 3."

Tole bu teacher finally brought to the principal's office. Once told by bu teachers, principals try to test pack Tole with a variety of subject matter 3rd grade students.

Principals: What is 16 multiplied by 26?

Tole: 416

Principals: Diponegoro War took place in what year?

Tole: 1825-1830

Principals: Who is the inventor of the light bulb?

Tole: Thomas Edison

Principals: Animals that eat meat and plants belonged to what?

Tole: omnivorous

After a few questions, sir Principals told the teacher "seems Tole was smart, I think can go in class 3"

But the teacher is still not convinced "Let me test again pack Principals" said teacher bu.

Teacher: The object is that his first letter C, last letter L, which can be strained, could limp?

(I hear a teacher bu pack Principals gape in surprise)

Tole: slingshot.

Teacher: OK, now if the first letter M, the last letter K, in the middle of it there are the nuts?

(pack Principals increasingly bemused, as he wiped sweat from his forehead)

Tole: Martabak.

Teacher: OK, here. Activity is usual teen in the bathroom with repetitive motions, his first letter M, the last letter I?

(pack Principals increasingly awkward questions bu hear the teacher)

Tole: Brushing teeth.

Teacher: whether the usual activities of men and women are again going out at night, first letter N, the last letter T?

(pack Principals almost fainted hear the last question)

Tole: Watch Midnight,

Before bu teachers continuing question, sir Principals cut "Teacher, Tole enter into grade 6 wrote. I wrote on the last one continues to answer questions bu teachers.

Teachers and Students (4)

Physics teacher

There's a new kid (AB) and old children (AL) were chatting when physics.

AL: "Uh huh lu new kid?"

AB: "Yes .."

AL: "Be careful lu same Physics teacher, if one bit can gampar"

AB: "Ooh ... I already know"

AL: "Yes, the teacher already ugly, tangled so his face, where poor again!"

AB: "Ooh ... I already know"

AL: "Anyway ntar if home kerjain yuk! we use water to flush drains, if necessary, we gebukin tuh bad teacher! Uh anyway from earlier kok lu lu said if already know anyway? "

AB: "I'm his son !!"

Teachers and Pupils (5)

Honestly pupils

One day the teacher was teaching his disciples. But, the students instead chatting and busy on their own. The teacher was angry because they feel ignored.

Mother Teacher: "You have to talk ONLY! What do you guys no one wants to listen to a lesson?"

Disciples: "Not buuuuu ..."

The teacher was getting annoyed.

Mother Teacher: "Basic fool you. Why are you can go to this school?"

Disciples: "Because we want smart, Buuu .."

Mother Teacher: "Then who felt foolish standing, mom will let me teach!"

The disciples fell silent because no one feels stupid. But suddenly Budi stand.

Mother Teacher: "Bagus Budi, you feel yourself stupid huh?"

Budi: "No, ma'am."

Mother Teacher: "Then, why do you stand?"

Budi: "I can not bear it, Bu .."

Mother Teacher: "Do not have the heart to why?"

Budi: "Seeing a mother standing alone .."

Teachers and Pupils (6)

New Teachers

In the morning there was a new teacher who first taught in schools.

New teachers: "before the lesson begins, the father wanted to meet first with you?"

Pupil: "Yes, sir teacher"

The new teacher: "You are in front, introduce the name you know who and what are your hobbies?"

Pupil Guy 1: "My name is Jonny, I am pleased to see the moonlight pack"

New teachers: "Good, unique hobby, you try sitting next to Johnny?"

Pupil Guy 2: "My name is Ahmad, I looked at the moonlight hobby pack."

New teachers: "Looohh same .. well .. you really friends? next!"

Pupil Guy 3: "My name is Amir, hobby I saw moonlight, sir ..."

New teachers: "Wow. both men, hobby may be just as well, try it now go to the girls. you are beautiful .. who's name and what hobbies you ?? "

Pupil Girl 1: "My name is Moon Light, hobby I wear miniskirts, sir ..."

Teachers and Students (7)

ANTONYM

Class which was noisy, now a silent-silent after Indonesian teacher who feared it into the classroom. His face was stern face as if to pounce on its prey.

Disciples: "Good morning, Mrs. teacher !!!"

Bu teacher: (squeaky voice) "Why just say good morning, then noon, afternoon, and evening to pray a sentence I did not survive, huh ??"

Disciples: "Good morning, afternoon, evening, and night Bu teacher ...."

Bu teacher: "Why so long ?? Never congratulate people like it !!

Disciples: "* ^%) &% $ ^ # & # @ ??"

Bu teacher: "Let's just say congratulations prosperous, the better it is heard and meaningfully? After all utterance that encompasses all times and circumstances."

Disciples: "Peace Mom teacher !!"

Bu teacher: "Equally, sitting !! Listen carefully !! Today, I want to test you all about opposites or antonyms of words. If I mention what he said, you all must quickly respond with an opponent he says, understand ??! "

Disciples: "Understanding the teacher Bu .."

Teacher: "Clever!"

Disciples: "Stupid!"

Teacher: "High!"

Disciples: "Low"

Teacher: "Away!"

Disciples: "Close!"

Teacher: "Berjaya!"

Disciples: "Winning!"

Teacher: "One that!"

Disciples: "This is true!"

Teacher: (GERAM) "Stupid!"

Disciples: "Clever!"

Teacher: "No!"

Disciples: "YES!"

Teacher: (getting dizzy) "Oh my God !!"

Disciples: "Yes servant !!"

Teacher: "Listen to this ..."

Disciples: "Do not listen to it .."

Teacher: "Shut up !!"

Disciples: "Hurricane !!!!"

Teacher: "It was not a question, dumb !!!!"

Disciples: "This is the answer, clever !!"

Teacher: "Dead I !!"

Disciples: "Our LIFE !!"

Teacher: "I know the new rattan taste !!"

The disciples: "We do not know the old roots flavor !!"

Teacher: "Lazy I teach you!"

Disciples: "Diligent we learned Bu teacher ...."

Teacher: "You crazy all !!"

The disciples: "We are sane majority .."

Teacher: "Enough !! Enough !!"

Disciples: "Less! Less!"

Teacher: "It !! It !!"

Disciples: "No !! Not !!"

Teacher: "Why are you all so stupid ??"

Disciples: "For me a clever .."

Teacher: "Oh yes !! Fight !!"

Disciples: "Ho !! Succumbing not ??"

Teacher: "Damn !!!"

Disciples: "Just teaching .."

Teacher: "After I .."

Disciples: "Eternal you !!!"

Teacher: (desperate) "OK. The lesson is over !!"

Disciples: "KO. The game has not started !!"

Teacher: "Already, STUPID !!!"

Disciples: "Not yet, clever !!"

Teacher: "Stand up !!"

Disciples: "Sit down !!"

Teacher: "Dingle these guys !!"

Disciples: "Ingenious us it !!"

Teacher: "BROKEN !!!" ggg

Disciples: "Well .."

Teacher: (STRESS) "You all were arrested this afternoon !!"

The disciples: "We released the middle of the night !!!"

Bu teachers face flushed and without speaking again take the books and out of the room. Pupils are proud because they feel able to answer all the questions earlier.

Teachers And Students (8)

Thinking happy Teacher

In an elementary school, one day a teacher asked one of his students.

Teacher: "Udin please answer questions yaa mother ... If there are 5 birds at the window, then shot one, how much is still left behind?"

Udin: "Out dong Bu, the other on the fly"

Teacher: "One, should be answered still stay 4 tails, but I am happy with the way you think ... .."

Udin at other times they asked the teacher.

Udin: "Teacher please answer my question ... If there were three girls, each carrying the ice cream, the first girl eating ice cream with chewed sedikit2, the second one with a bite of ice cream and contongnya, and the third by licking and sucking, Which among the three girls who are married? "

Teacher: "Hmmm ... definitely the feeding by licking and sucking ice cream yaaaa"

Udin: "One ... should be answered wearing a wedding ring, but I am happy to see the way of thinking Teacher ..."

Teachers and Pupils (9)

What happened to hell, god?

Keada A teacher tells his student, then his pupil just quietly listened to his teacher.

Teacher: Both of my children will be the story of the rich man died worldwide.

Pupil: we are ready to listen!

The teacher then began telling his students with a casual and relaxed once.

Bil l Gates died in an accident. he gets himself in a place of purgatory (sin).

 God was there and said, "Well, Bill, I benar2x confused by this call.

I am not so sure whether I should send you to hell or to heaven. Because I see, you are already helping people with

putting a computer in every home almost all over the world and create a Windows 95's amazing. Would I do something I've never done before. Especially for this case, I will give you the freedom to decide where you want to stay.

"Bill replied," Well, thank God.

But what's the difference between heaven and hell?

God said, "I allow you to visit both in advance so that you may more easily make decisions".

"Okay. Then, I try to see hell first. "

Then Bill went to hell. Turns out he saw that hell is a very beautiful place, clean with white sand beaches with clear water. And there are thousands of beautiful women running around, swimming, splashing, laughing happily. The sun was shining brightly with a cool and comfortable atmosphere, perfect all.

Bill seemed very happy. "Wow amazing!!! Beautiful there !! ", he told God," If hell just like that, I want to see heaven! "

"Well," says the Lord. Soon they go to heaven to see the atmosphere there.

Bill saw heaven who are in high places with covered awan2x. Was ten Angels were playing the harp and singing. He felt peaceful see the atmosphere in heaven but he did not seem excited as when I saw hell. Bill thought for a moment, and finally make a decision.

"Well, I think ... I would like living in hell, God." He said to God.

"All right, then," replied God, "in accordance with your wishes."

Then Bill Gates go and live in hell. Two weeks later, God wants to see the state of the millionaire, Bill Gates, is to ensure the situation baik2x just and what is being done.

When the Lord arrived in hell, he found Bill was in a dark hallway and yell at tengah2x fire blazing. He felt burned and tortured.

"How are you, Bill?" The Lord asked.

Bill answered with a deep voice, full of suffering and hopelessness. "It was horrible, God. This is not the same as what

I saw yesterday. Where white sandy beaches, beautiful wanita2x that used to be here that ?? What happens God ?? "

God said, "Oh It's just a screen saver, Bill!"

Teachers And Students (10)

Contest of wits

Osis chairman: "For the quiz competition today. A group of teachers and Group B for the students. Everything is ready? "

Teachers and students: "I have."

Osis chairman: "Group A ready?"

Teachers: "Certainly."

Osis chairman: "Group B also ready?"

Disciples: "Must!"

Osis chairman: "Before starting, I will explain a little rules. There is only one session to quiz this time with three questions. Who answered only spokesman, and of course who quickly he has the right answer. Everything understand? "

Teachers and students: "Understood."

Osis chairman: "The first question, a matter of mathematics. What is the end result of the root of 225 divided by five, times two, minus 6? "

Both groups pressed the button and the fastest is the group B.

Osis Chairman: "Please spokesperson of Group B."

Group B: "12."

Osis chairman: "One. A group willing to try? "

Group A: "0."

Osis chairman: "100 for group A. The next question, about the Public Knowledge. Why the motor stops at a red light? "

Group A: "Regarding General Knowledge odd. Of course, because the rules as such. "

Osis chairman: "Not exactly. Group B? "

Group B: "Because the motor driver is not stepping on the gas."

Osis chairman: "That's right. 100 for group B. The scores both groups draw. Last question. Of the fifty passengers who are in a submarine with a capacity of 50 people, one of whom was pregnant. When pregnant women were entered, instantly sinking ship. What caused the ship to sink? "

Group A: "Because the pregnant woman counts as two."

Osis chairman: "One."

Group B: "His name is also a submarine. Surely sink dong. Because really easy. "

Osis chairman: "Yes! The winner is the group B. "

Group A: "???"